Life is full of difficult decisions, and you often find yourself having to pick the lesser of two evils. Not out of laziness or lack of interest – but purely because all options simply suck. For example… you board the bus at 6 a.m. only to find that you’ve stepped into a chamber of bacteria, oozing out of parkas and wool mittens. You quickly assess the situation, hoping a golden beam of light will illuminate an open seat surrounded by sunshine, daisies, and a babbling brook. Instead, the flickering lights reveal your grim options of slush covered seats.
15 seconds to choose a bus mate… who do you go with? The man with the rattling phlegm filled hack? The woman that has already sneezed 5 times and is yet to cover her spray of snot? What about the lady you thought was safe last time, but turned out to be a flatulent culprit? Or, do you take your chances with the personal bubble invader, and hope she stays within her defined portion of the seat?
Of course, the bubble invader is the least offensive to the senses. So, congratulations Mrs. Space Invader. While your elbow and leg was rhythmically bouncing against mine through the entire ride, and you cracked open a bag of Doritos for a crunchy, (very crunchy), early morning snack… you have proven to be the least offensive person on the bus this morning. Take pride in this achievement. Walk into work - head held high as you welcome your coworkers with your recognizably Doritos aroma, knowing that even at your extra cheesiest, you were in fact chosen as the lesser of this morning’s evils.
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Love it. So sad, and yet so true.
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